Summer Break

posted by Tygrrius @ 11:15 AM

"Man is so made that he can only find relaxation from one kind of labor by taking up another."
--Anatole France (The Crime of Sylvestre Bonnard)

As I've mentioned here before, I've started taking classes at night to complete my degree. Summer session started on Tuesday, so I am back in class again.

I also start a new job on Monday. I'm looking forward to embarking on that new adventure, even if I am a little nervous.

Work and class will take up a lot of my time this summer, so my updates here on The Film Frontier will become even more sporadic than normal.

I definitely plan to keep this site going, though, as I truly enjoy the chance to write about things I love. Keep tuning back in and you'll eventually be rewarded with some new content. I am also thinking about making some more changes. I want to further streamline some things, and expand others.

I always have fun here on The Film Frontier, but sometimes I have to step away and take a break from it. This is one of those times. Have a great summer, everyone.

Defending George Lucas

posted by Tygrrius @ 7:14 AM

"When you do a movie like this, a sequel that's very, very anticipated, people anticipate ultimately that it's going to be the Second Coming. And it's not. It's just a movie. Just like the other movies."
--George Lucas on Indy IV

My Proverbial Galaxies post today is in response to CinemaBlend.com's Editorial: Play It Again, George.

With a new Lucasfilm release on the way later this month (Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, in case you've been living under a rock), George Lucas bashing has begun in full force. The excellent CinemaBlend.com site yesterday released the above editorial by Rafe Telsch, assistant editor, which claims that Lucas is a "menace to fandom." I encourage you to read the entire editorial before reading my response, which includes snippets from Telsch for clarity.

Telsch: "While Lucas is a fantastic idea man, most of his decent contributions have been to filmmaking as an industry rather than as a filmmaker himself. Take away Star Wars (the best of which came from other writers and directors) and Indiana Jones (which Lucas produced and came up with story ideas for, but didn’t actually write), and you’ve got a very small library of films Lucas is responsible for."

Telsch wants us to buy into a number of huge assumptions here. Did the "best of" Star Wars really come from other directors? There have been exactly three directors in the live-action Star Wars movie universe. Lucas directed four of the six films. Irvin Kershner directed The Empire Strikes Back (1980), while Richard Marquand directed Return of the Jedi (1983).

Many fans, and I count myself among them, consider The Empire Strikes Back the best Star Wars movie. For me, it's almost too close to call versus the original Star Wars (1977), directed by Lucas. Perhaps Telsch is onto something, though. However, for his point to be true, Richard Marquand's Return of the Jedi must also be better than the original Star Wars. That race isn't even close.

The Empire Strikes Back is always brought out as an example of Lucas' Star Wars concept working better in the hands of others. Yet, many of the same people who want to give Lucas none of the credit for The Empire Strikes Back want to give him all of the blame for the perceived problems of Return of the Jedi. Ranking the prequel trilogy against the originals is difficult, but I would say that two of the Lucas-directed prequels are better than Return of the Jedi.

Did the "best of" Star Wars really come from other writers? No matter which Star Wars movies you consider the best, the answer is no.

Lucas wrote the original Star Wars. Lucas wrote the story for The Empire Strikes Back, while Lawrence Kasdan provided the main screenplay. Lucas wrote the story for Return of the Jedi and co-wrote the screenplay with Kasdan. Telsch apparently counts Return of the Jedi as part of his unnamed "best of" Star Wars, since it is one of only two movies that Lucas did not direct, so Lucas' contribution to both the story and the screenplay is notable.

Lucas wrote The Phantom Menace (1999). Well, nobody's perfect. However, even The Phantom Menace has some good stuff in it, overlooked by those obsessed with hatred for Jar Jar and young Anakin Skywalker. I don't think any fan counts this film among Star Wars' best, though, so we'll move on. Lucas wrote the story for Attack of the Clones (2002) and co-wrote the screenplay with Jonathan Hales. Lucas wrote Revenge of the Sith (2005), considered by many fans to be the best of the prequel trilogy.

So, where are Telsch's mysterious "best" Star Wars movies that Lucas did not write?

With a wave of his hand, Telsch then dismisses the entirety of Lucas' contributions to the Indiana Jones franchise. Apparently coming up with the story of each of the films is not "writing" in his eyes.

Telsch's suggestion that we simply ignore ten of Lucas' biggest contributions to movies, the Star Wars and Indiana Jones films, is ludicrous. That's like saying, take away the Pietà, the statue of David, and the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, and Michelangelo did little for art. Or, take away all of his recording sessions, concerts, and TV appearances, and Elvis Presley did little for music.

Telsch: "Sure, there are some classics in there like Willow and American Graffiti, but you’ve also got the independent studio killing THX-1138, Radioland Murders, and Captain EO to contend with."

Telsch's argument begins to make even less sense here. For Willow, Radioland Murders, and Captain EO, Lucas "only" wrote the stories and executive produced, but these movies apparently count in the Telsch world while the Indiana Jones films, for which Lucas made similar contributions, do not.

Telsch: "Basically, if Lucas hadn’t been responsible for Industrial Light & Magic, his name would be considerably less legendary. You can’t deny the industry effect his special effects company has had, but most of that is because of the artists involved with that, not because of Lucas directly, but only as the guy who hired the right people."

Again, Telsch's ease of dismissal here is fascinating. Now we must ignore six Star Wars movies, four Indiana Jones movies, and Lucas' groundbreaking special effects company to comply with the narrowing parameters of his argument. As a contributor to one of the best movie news sites on the net, Telsch should know that great films are all about hiring the right people.

Telsch: "But Lucas does have Star Wars as a huge accomplishment, although it’s probably not too much of a stretch to assume that someone could eventually have come up with something similar."

Telsch finally gives a bit of begrudging credit to Lucas for his masterpiece, but then claims someone else "could" have done the same thing "eventually." No matter how Telsch spins it, there would be no Star Wars without George Lucas. Star Wars provided inspiration for countless others as well, and there's no real way to measure Lucas' influence.

Telsch: "Sure, they may not have had the radical approach of capitalizing on the franchise’s merchandising – something Lucas pretty much originated. Unfortunately, that same approach quickly led to movies that were more about generating characters to cash in on instead of solid storytelling."

First of all, I don't blame Lucas for making as much money as he can off of Star Wars and anything else he creates. Just because we bought lots of tickets doesn't mean we own the franchise or the man. I, for one, am glad for all of the Star Wars merchandising from when I was a kid. Star Wars action figures, playsets, and other toys were part of the experience for me.

Second, exactly which movies is Telsch referring to here? His implication seems to be that the first Star Wars movie had solid storytelling (oh wait, but Lucas wrote and directed that one!), while its merchandising success quickly led to a focus on cashing in by The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. I thought The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi were Telsch's "best of" Star Wars movies, though, since they are the only two Lucas didn't direct?

Telsch: "You may have noticed solid information on Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is hard to come by. Even rumors seem to disappear quickly from the Internet. This is no mistake, my friends. This is the long arm of Lucas stretching out and attempting to remove anything that may spoil his film before it has its day. [. . .] Meanwhile, rebel websites who try to run anything unofficial are threatened with being shut down (been there, done that)."

Finally, the real motivation behind Telsch's attack begins to appear. Telsch is annoyed that there is not enough official information being released about the new Indiana Jones movie to satisfy him. He's also upset that Paramount and Lucasfilm protect their interests by going after sites that release unsanctioned images, footage, and information.

Telsch doesn't like the "keep the details secret" marketing approach of Indy IV, so he wants to tear down someone he just told us had little to do with the franchise. Let's face it, Lucasfilm and Paramount don't "owe" entertainment sites or fan sites anything about this movie. How Lucasfilm and Paramount choose to handle marketing of the film is up to them.

Telsch: "Lucas has already started making his apologies, stating in interviews with Steven Spielberg that everyone is bound to be disappointed because the expectations surrounding the film are so high."

I concede that Lucas does seem to have become rather gun-shy after being roasted for The Phantom Menace. No matter who you are, not every movie you make can be a winner. However, if your name is George Lucas and you make a mediocre to good movie that disappoints vocal fanboys, watch out! Even Lucas cannot be totally immune to the unfortunate hatred spewed at him over The Phantom Menace. I'm sure the over $430 million it raked in at the box office in the US alone helped ease his pain, though.

If Lucas takes on a "they will be disappointed" stance as a defense mechanism prior to the release of Indy IV, I can forgive him.

Telsch: "Just in case Kingdom of the Crystal Skull has what it takes to please fans, Lucas is keeping a witch hunt going for anyone who might spoil his picture."

So, is Indy IV Lucas' picture now? Why do I have a feeling if Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull turns out to be a great movie, Telsch and those like him will give all of the credit to director Steven Spielberg? However, if Indy IV turns out mediocre or worse, they will shift the blame to Lucas. And, again, why shouldn't Paramount and Lucasfilm protect their interests?

Telsch: "Our inquiries have led to the possibility that this machine wasn’t just the typical studio wheels grinding, but a Lucas-led hunt to keep information off the net [. . . ]."

Secret "inquiries"? Finding a "possibility"? Who's leading the witch-hunt now?

Telsch: "If Lucas truly wanted to keep his movie a secret, there are ways to go about doing that. [. . .] Michael Bay managed to keep a lot of spoilers about Transformers off the Internet without too much cyber-bullying [. . .]."

Oh really? Then why did CinemaBlend's own Josh Tyler complain about Paramount's legal tactics regarding Transformers leaks? For instance, see:

http://www.cinemablend.com/new/Rant-Hollywood-Kills-What-It-Can-t-Control-5142.html

and

http://www.cinemablend.com/new/Look-Optimus-In-The-Eye-4344.html

Lucas wasn't involved on Transformers, so the common denominators for it and Indiana Jones are Paramount and Spielberg. Telsch needs to rethink his arguments.

Meanwhile, I'll continue enjoying Star Wars, Indiana Jones, and George Lucas' other contributions to the art of filmmaking.

Of Wrecks And Radios

posted by Tygrrius @ 12:35 PM

"I don't care, I'll wreck as many cars as I need to."
--Kyle Busch, May 2, 2008 (one day prior to the wreck heard around the nation)

Just a couple of follow-ups to entries from last week. I mentioned Kyle Busch's wrecking of Dale Earnhardt, Jr., on Saturday night and called for Fox Sports to bring some new talent to the broadcast booth for NASCAR events. One thing I didn't really get into was Denny Hamlin's involvement in the situation. Hamlin led something like 384 of 400 laps before one of his tires went down and he lost the lead. He also stayed on the track, apparently hoping to ride it out since the event was almost over, as he continued to lose positions.

Earnhardt, Jr., meanwhile, assumed the lead and pulled away from Kyle Busch and had a pretty good lead built up, one second and growing over Busch. Apparently hoping not to lose a lap, Hamlin stopped his car on the track long enough to draw a caution flag, and then quickly motored to pit road for fresh tires. NASCAR agreed that Hamlin only stopped to bring out the yellow flag, so they penalized him two laps. I originally attributed this as a dunderhead move on Hamlin's part, no doubt due to his being upset at losing a race that he otherwise dominated, so I didn't really get into it in my post.

However, I read some posts by other NASCAR fans the next day that shed new light on the incident for me. Hamlin and Busch are teammates, both race for Joe Gibbs. I didn't even think about that! By drawing the caution, Hamlin not only potentially benefitted himself (though negated by the penalty), but also his teammate Busch.

Hamlin's caution fake effectively erased Earnhardt, Jr.'s growing lead and put second-place Busch within striking distance. Whether intentionally or not, Hamlin set up the disaster to come.

Busch ultimately wrecked Earnhardt, Jr., sending him to a fifteenth place finish, but the end result for Busch was the same as it would've been if he'd raced Earnhardt, Jr., clean: second place. Innocent bystander Clint Boyer motored past both of them as the wreck occurred to take the lead, which he managed to hold as third place Mark Martin distracted Busch long enough for the race to finish.

For those who don't believe that Joe Gibbs Racing and/or Toyota has Fox Sports in their back pocket, I point out that Fox's articles about the incident at the Richmond race, including one titled "Kyle Busch: Public Enemy #1," mysteriously disappeared from their website on Sunday, replaced with a week-old article about Kyle Busch winning at Talladega. Their comment blogs, including at least 20 pages of mostly anti-Busch and anti-Darrell Waltrip remarks, were suddenly gone, too. Some of those have returned, though heavily edited.

Anyway, as I said on Saturday, though the wreck was deplorable, the instant cover-up by Darrell Waltrip and company in the booth is what annoyed me most. People attribute all of the criticism of Busch and Fox Sports to "Junior Nation" but guess what, he's not my favorite driver.

I respect Dale Earnhardt, Jr., but my favorites are Kyle Petty, Bobby Labonte, Jeff Burton, and Juan Pablo Montoya. I'm not a card-carrying member of Junior Nation, but I still think he was robbed on Saturday (which happens) and, more importantly, that Darrell Waltrip continues to do a disservice to NASCAR viewers. I'm sure he'll continue to make excuses next weekend as well.

* * *

I'm still having fun with Pandora Radio, the Internet radio music service, so I created a public station in case any of you would like to hear what I'm listening to these days.

Ty's Without A Song Radio

I've also added this as link in the sidebar of The Film Frontier's Site B backup blog. You will have to create a Pandora login to actually hear the station, but it's free and easy to do. Plus, that will let you create your own station in case my selections are not to your liking.

Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back On The Racetrack

posted by Tygrrius @ 11:53 PM

"You win some, you lose some, you wreck some."
--Dale Earnhardt, Sr.

Ah, the frustrations of being a race fan. The worst part tonight, though, was not just watching a fad-of-the-week driver like Kyle Busch wreck a class-act like Dale Earnhardt, Jr., who was giving his competitor plenty of room to race with just laps to go at Richmond International Raceway. The worst part was hearing driver-turned-commentator Darrell Waltrip trot out another round of apologies for his new favorite son, Busch.

Waltrip was one of the first NASCAR racers to drive Toyota, in the Truck Series as his career was winding down. As far as I can tell, Toyota still has him in their back pocket, though. His brother Michael's 2007 startup team is also Toyota.

In the main Sprint Cup series, Busch started driving a Toyota for Joe Gibbs this season, you see, so he's suddenly become a favorite of Darrell Waltrip - known in the racing world as "Jaws" because he talks too much.

That nickname really hit home tonight as Jaws had to not only make the weekly excuse for his brother Michael's lousy performance, but also once again Busch.

How many times this season has Jaws proudly told listeners how much Busch has "matured"? Apparently, all you need to do to "mature" in Jaws' eyes is start driving a Toyota. While the Joe Gibbs team has found success with Toyota this year, the Michael Waltrip team, which was implicated in a cheating scandal out of the box in Daytona last season, continues to lag behind. If there's any justice in the racing universe, Waltrip's Toyota will remain at the back of the pack - or even better, off the track completely.

But I'm getting off track here myself. The real purpose of this quick rant is to complain about Fox Sports' coverage of NASCAR, particularly having to hear Jaws make excuses for Michael Waltrip and Kyle Busch at each and every race.

Jaws' fellow commentator Larry McReynolds was actually brave enough, briefly, to speak up tonight and point out that he found it disturbing that Busch's tires were turned in the direction of Earnhardt, Jr.'s car as the wreck began - implying that the action was deliberate on the hothead Busch's part. Busch, who likes to call himself "Rowdy" Busch after a character in the 1990 Tom Cruise racing flop Days of Thunder, of course claimed that Earnhardt, Jr. came down and caused the wreck, though the video evidence just doesn't support it.

After McReynold's statement, Jaws and his puppet, commentator Mike Joy, quickly came to Busch's defense. Jaws does a pretty good ventriloquist act, making Joy sound like he's talking without moving his lips. Larry Mac quickly retracted his statement as well. Wouldn't want to make Toyota or the Gibbs team upset, since they apparently sponsor Fox Sports based upon the amount of coverage they receive of late.

As far as the on-track incident goes, as disgusting as it was, that's racing. What goes around comes around, and Busch will get his.

What's more disturbing, though, is the ongoing annoyance of having to listen to Jaws and team in the booth every week. Why can't Fox Sports do like Fox News and present "Fair and balanced" coverage?

Personally, I'd prefer the option of somehow turning off the commentary all together, while keeping the other sound effects going - a "Crank It Up" channel, if you will. Barring that, I think it's about time Fox Sports varied its coverage a bit. NASCAR ratings have been falling lately, Emmy win or not, and I think booth burnout is part of the problem.

Why not vary who covers each race? Sure, let Jaws and team cover a few, but why not make other teams as well and rotate them?

For instance, I think Krista Voda would do a great job in the booth. I'd much rather hear her than a puppet like Mike Joy. Fox, and the other networks that cover NASCAR, need to think in new ways instead of always sticking with old stand-bys like Jaws and Joy.

There are other well-spoken former drivers out there. Get Jaws out of the booth and let's hear from them. Rotate Jaws out and bring in Dale Jarrett, the son of the man who was arguably the best NASCAR commentator ever, Ned Jarrett. Unfortunately for former champion Dale Jarrett, he spent his last races before retirement at Michael Waltrip racing, meaning that he wasn't competitive. But hey, there's a Toyota connection so maybe Fox Sports will let him in. I'd much rather hear him than Jaws these days.

While Larry McReynolds is the least annoying of the three, I would say the same should go for him. Build each booth team as a separate trio, so McReynolds would rotate out with Jaws and Joy and some other former crew chief or other NASCAR insider would take his place.

My real preference, though, is the "Crank It Up" channel. Then viewers would be able to opt out of the spoon-feeding from Jaws and company.

None Of The Above

posted by Tygrrius @ 10:13 AM

"Why is it when there's trouble we're the ones that get into it? I mean, there's a bar full of people and we're the only ones in jail."
--Monty Brewster (Brewster's Millions)

You know, I can probably trace my love of movies back to my grandmother. It must be something in the blood. When I was a kid, she worked the box office at the movie theater. Each summer, I'd get to see a few free movies when she'd let my little sister and I up into the balcony of the theater for a matinee show.

One of those movies was Brewster's Millions, starring Richard Pryor. This was 1985, so I already knew Pryor from Superman III a couple years before. In the movie, which also featured John Candy, Pryor had to spend $30 million in 30 days in order to inherit $300 million.

One of the ways he spent some of that money was by running a political campaign urging people to vote for "None of the above." The Film Frontier is all about escapism, so I usually try not to get too political here. However, the current slate of US Presidential candidates reminds me of Brewster's Millions again and again. "None of the above" sounds like a better and better choice.

Of course, theaters are totally different now. Balconies are gone, screens are smaller, and the teenie boppers at the box office are nothing like my grandmother. I miss her, and I miss those days.

* * *

I've kept up with the double-posting over to The Film Frontier's "Site B" backup blog. It's actually cool to see all of the news, reviews, and PGX postings intermingling instead of being on separate pages like they are on the main site. It doesn't take much to amuse me, though.

The backup blog currently only goes back as far as April 2008. I'm going to start filling in back-posts to Site B, though. It'll take awhile, as there are over 400 postings to cover, if you can believe that.

* * *

Speaking of the good old days, do you remember Little Debbie's Spice Cakes? They stopped making them years ago. They were always my favorite, which is probably why they had to stop production.

Because I'm just that kind of guy, I actually checked with McKee Foods, owner of Little Debbie, about their missing Spice Cakes not too long ago. They advised me that they were discontinued due to low sales and suggested I find another favorite Little Debbie snack. Sorry, that's not going to happen!

Maybe someday, McKee's marketing department will wake up and see the potential goldmine of a campaign based on bringing back Little Debbie's original snack cake - even if "for a limited time only."

I'd buy the stores out and freeze them for posterity ("I was saving that Spice Cake!"). Until then, my favorite will have to be "None of the above" as far as their current selections go.

Indiana Jones And The Pandora's Box

posted by Tygrrius @ 10:10 PM

"If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners."
--Johnny Carson

I was watching the Star Wars edition of Deal or No Deal on Monday night and kept looking for an Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull commercial during the show. Since Indy is a Lucasfilm property, I figured it would be a natural. No trailer, though.

Deal or No Deal did at least offer up a fake Darth Vader (complete with a horrible James Earl Jones impersonation), a fake Chewie, a fake Artoo, and a real Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher). There were also 26 Leia-inspired slavegirls, as promised in the promo. Contestant Brad Flinchum managed not to get too distracted by all of the eye candy, though, and walked away with $209,000. Not bad, considering that many Deal or No Deal contestants fail to quit in time. According to the show, Flinchum plans to use some of the money to renovate his basement and display his Star Wars collection.

So, anyway, I was watching some random show last night when an Indy commercial actually appeared. Much like the teaser trailer from a couple months back, the commercial was just kind of there. It didn't hype me for the movie at all, sorry to say.

I just tried to find it on the official Indiana Jones site, but that site always seems to crash my Flash player, even after just recently installing the newest version. I don't have that problem on other sites, just IndianaJones.com. Let's see, who else might have it. Maybe Yahoo. They have a TV spot, but not the one I saw. The one they had was marginally better, but nothing special.

I'd rather have a movie that's better than the trailers, than trailers that are better than the movie anyway. So, here's hoping. We'll find out in three weeks.

* * *

I've been trying out something called Pandora Radio over the last two or three days. It's a site that lets you set up a free, personalized Internet "radio" that streams songs not only by your favorite artists, but also by other artists that their Music Genome Project has identified as similar to your favorites. Due to licensing restrictions, the Pandora service is only available in the US.

You set up one "station" per artist. The cool part, though, is that you can then mix the stations so you can get a pretty good variety of music going. I've set up stations for about 40 of my favorite artists so far. The logic that picks related artists seems to work pretty well, too, as I've been liking most of the songs. Much better than a real radio station, let me tell you.

To satisfy the conditions of their music licensing agreements, it doesn't let you instantly replay a song or go to a specific song. But hey, you can't really do that stuff while listening to a real radio station, either. If you don't like a song, you can rate it a thumbs-down and it will skip to the next one. You can only skip so many songs per hour, again related to their agreements with the music industry. I've only hit this roadblock once, though.

At first I wondered why they called it "Pandora." Now that I'm addicted to it, though, I finally get it. Once you open this box, it's almost impossible to close it. Not unlike visiting here, right?

Aw, come on, you could've humored me. . . .

Do You Remember This Saturday Morning Show?

posted by Tygrrius @ 8:49 AM

[3/25/2008, Update: I found it! See comments section.]

"The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time."
--Friedrich Nietzsche

Over a year ago, on this very blog, I posted some memories of Saturday morning cartoons. While I remember a lot of my favorites, today I'm stuck trying to remember one specific show. I've searched imdb and wiki, to no avail. I'm sure it's there; I'm just overlooking it.

Since I can't find it, I thought I'd send out the sketchy details that I remember to the brain trust and see if any of you out there in web land can help me.

Though it may have been produced earlier, I watched this Saturday morning show somewhere between 1982 and 1984. I believe it was a mix of both live action and animation. There may have been a kids-themed news segment to it.

The part I remember most, though, is an animated globe of the Earth with blue arms coming out of his sides and a face and big nose right on the globe. Or maybe he was supposed to actually be Earth and not a globe. In any event, he asked you to write in to join a pen pal group.

I actually did this and corresponded for about two letters with a blond-haired kid named Ray C. in some other state, possibly Minnesota. [I actually remember his full name after only two letters from him. I have a weird memory like that, though. Despite the fact that I can't remember the actual show!]

I know this isn't a lot to go on, but does anyone remember the name of this Saturday morning series that aired in the US? I figure the best clues to go on are the animated Earth/globe and the pen pals bit. Post a comment below or drop me an e-mail if you remember.

Of Movies And Cubes

posted by Tygrrius @ 5:02 PM

"Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information which is how I got a good job in journalism."
--Dave Barry (Dave Barry is from Mars and Venus)

I need a break from what I'm supposed to be working on right now, so I thought I'd come by and ramble on for a bit about nothing in particular.

It's funny, when this year started, I was most excited about seeing Star Trek XI, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, The Dark Knight, and Get Smart, in that order. Now, the list has almost turned upside down.

Star Trek XI was bumped to next year, so that's out of the running for now. The Indy IV teaser trailer seems to have deflated some of my enthusiasm for that movie. I'm still looking forward to it, just not as much for some reason. The death of Heath Ledger has dampened my enthusiasm for The Dark Knight.

That leaves Get Smart as my most anticipated movie for this year. All of the clips I've seen from this one, in both trailers, have looked fantastic. Both Steve Carell and Anne Hathaway seem to be taking the right approach to the characters. Who knows what I'll be doing three months from now, but I sure plan to find the time to have a seat in a theater that weekend to check this one out.

Of course, there is also the unexpected gift of Star Wars: The Clone Wars this year, but that animated movie just doesn't take the spotlight away from Get Smart for me. Besides Star Trek in 2009, a movie I'm really waiting for is the sequel to Superman Returns - maybe 2010.

* * *

Do you know that I have two, count them, two Rubik's cubes here on my desk? One is the standard version and the other is a miniature keychain version. Both share one thing in common, though: They are unsolved. They will likely remain that way, too, as the only reliable way I've found of solving a Rubik's cube is to disassemble and reassemble it. (Sure, you could take the stickers off and reapply them, but that's not a very elegant approach.) The only other way I've found is to work step-by-step through a solution book or site. It's a lot more efficient to just disassemble it, though.

I found that trick in a solution book I read when I was a kid. I also worked through the manual solution portion, but found the disassembly trick to be a lot more convenient. It all comes down to the fact that, when it comes to Rubik's cubes, I'm pretty much an idiot. I've never been able to beat the cube without cheating. I doubt that will change anytime soon. Maybe I should get one of those new 2x2 versions - but what if I can't even solve that? Better not to know.

The Game Of Steel

posted by Tygrrius @ 6:03 AM

"Winning isn't everything, but losing isn't anything."
--Charlie Brown (Peanuts)

It's been awhile since I've been able to check in on this blog. As I suspected, school has been monopolizing most of what used to be my free time. I've also been on a bit of a DVD-watching binge lately.

I finally saw a couple of last year's big hits, Transformers and Spider-man 3. I thought the first two Spider-man movies were terrific. Like many others, I found the third installment in the series a little disappointing. I was hoping the fanboys would be wrong on this one, as I do not always agree with their opinions on such matters.

Spider-man 3 certainly wasn't horrible, though, and I really can't even put my finger on where they went wrong with it. Something just didn't quite work this time out. It still made tons of money, though, so maybe they'll work the kinks out for Spider-man 4 whenever that comes along.

How about that game yesterday? I'm only a casual football viewer, my brother being the real fan of the family. Still, I've seen my fair share of football games over the years and I must say, the Giants' upset victory over the Patriots may just well be the best game I've ever seen. It certainly was the best Super Bowl game in my lifetime, even though neither team is a favorite of mine.

I'm a sucker for underdog stories. I rooted for the Giants to beat the Patriots while watching the last game of the regular season back in December. The Giants missed winning that one by only three points. Last night, I was rooting for them once again.

I've also been watching more football than normal lately, including all of the playoff games for both the Giants and the Patriots leading up to the Super Bowl. My impression had been that the Patriots were definitely beatable -- thriving more on reputation, lately -- and that the Giants were dangerously underrated. Any team that can beat the Cowboys at home when they're having a good year and then do the same again against the Packers at home is worthy of respect.

Yet, no one was giving them any -- which was probably the best thing that ever happened to the Giants. So, while the media was focusing on who Patriots QB Tom Brady was dating and whether or not his ankle was sprained, the Giants were busy getting ready for a Super Bowl that others had written off as a mere formality on the Patriots' inevitable march to a perfect season.

Fortunately, the Giants didn't see the Patriots victory as inevitable and the Patriots didn't get that perfect season after all. A perfect season certainly doesn't end with a loss in the most important game of them all. Though the Patriots may have won more games, due to the longer season of today, the 1972 Dolphins remain as the NFL's only undefeated team.

Ironically, in all of their imperfection, after barely making the playoffs at all as a wild card team, the Giants managed to pull off the perfect season while no one was looking, one for the football history books -- for how else could you describe a season capped off by beating the team that everyone else said was "perfect" or even "the best team in the history of the NFL"?

* * *

Maybe the exciting game last night will finally put an end to one of my pet peeves (probably not): People who go around saying that the Super Bowl commercials are better than the game or that they only watch the Super Bowl for the commercials.

As the Giants defied the Patriots, the commercials were as bland as the game was thrilling. Most of the ads suffered from attempting to be overly clever. The screaming squirrel comes to mind, among others.

The only one I really enjoyed was a beer commercial where a Dalmatian trains a horse, to the tune of Rocky. And that was probably more because I just watched Rocky II on Saturday night, so the nostalgia hit a chord with me. Funny that my favorite commercial was a beer ad, since I don't even drink.

The Coca-Cola commercial where a Charlie Brown parade float swoops in at the last moment to steal a Coke bottle float from an Underdog float and a Family Guy's kid float wasn't too bad, but mostly because it was good to see ol' Charlie Brown, the ultimate underdog, win something for a change.

Charlie Brown appearing in a Coca-Cola commercial, does that mean there's a chance we'll finally see the original version of A Charlie Brown Christmas on TV or DVD at some point in the near future? Coca-Cola sponsored the classic special for the first year or two and there were actually product placements that were subsequently removed for future airings (at least according to what I've read; I've only seen the "edited" version of the special).

How about that Ford truck commercial that went as far to assume the winner of the Super Bowl, noting that there was a "Patriotic" sale and that the truck included a "championship" engine. Ooops.

* * *

One thing I can guarantee, no one watches the Super Bowl for the halftime show - especially not in the post-wardrobe-malfunction era. I flipped away to watch some of the "Puppy Bowl" on Animal Planet.

Speaking of the infamous wardrobe malfunction from a few years back, I wonder if this year's postgame show will give rise to a new controversy. Turn a camera on people and they act like complete idiots. During the postgame show, I saw a "fan" making faces in the background before proceeding to flip off the entire viewing audience -- with both hands, no less. I'm sure his friends and family are proud.

* * *

Sure, football may be just a game but there's something to be learned from both teams this time out. The Patriots (and the media, once again) have taught us to never take anything for granted, while the Giants have reminded us of the most valuable lesson of them all: Never give up.

Tygrrius Begins? Thoughts On A New Year

posted by Tygrrius @ 8:05 PM

"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save."
--Will Rogers

2008 is here. It's a chance to reexamine life, set new goals, and start fresh. Last year, I actually accomplished a recurring New Year's resolution that had been on my list for five to ten years -- returning to school to begin completing a degree. I made it through the first class, with an "A" no less (by the skin of my teeth).

My next class starts, wow, next week. Didn't seem like much of a break. We'll see if this one zaps up as much of my time as the last one. If so, updates here on The Film Frontier will unfortunately suffer. I'll still check in as much as possible, though.

My job of nearly nine years will end later this year. This means I will also be embarking on the fun and thrilling quest to find a new one. I wouldn't call that so much a "resolution" as a "reality check."

Somewhere in there, between all of that, I hope finally to write a novel. Actually, I have no problems starting novels. Finishing them, that's a whole other matter. I did finally return to school last year, so maybe 2008 will be the year to knock this one off the list. In a year that will feature the return of Indiana Jones and the beginnings of both James T. Kirk and Maxwell Smart, anything is possible.

Santa Beagle Is Back In Town

posted by Tygrrius @ 12:12 AM

Happy Christmas, everyone! Eat, drink, and be merry.

* * *

· The Make-A-Wish Foundation
· The Victory Junction Gang Camp
· The Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation
· The American Humane Association
· Ways to show support for America's troops
· Send messages of support to America's troops

Bring Me The Head Of Joe Cool

posted by Tygrrius @ 5:20 AM

A few weeks ago, what was apparently a very loud crash woke my wife. Though normally a light sleeper, I slept right through it rather than jumping into action. I finally woke up, somewhat groggy, as she started looking around to investigate. Under normal circumstances, this is usually my job but I would've been too tired to offer much resistance to any would-be intruders. Fortunately, there weren't any.

After not finding anything downstairs, she came up here to our office and found that my wooden shelf full of Snoopy figurines had partially detached from the wall and all of its items had fallen. This is by no means an indictment of the shelf itself, as it is of sturdy construction. The only problem with the shelf was that a mechanical idiot attached it to the wall. Namely me.

Somehow, all of the Snoopy figurines, which are quite breakable, came through unscathed despite the six foot drop. All except one. My figure of Joe Cool riding a motorcycle was beheaded. As you can see here, his head was severed clean off.


That night, my wife searched in vain for Joe Cool's head so that our dog wouldn't find it first. No luck. I was too tired to even climb the stairs, much less help look so we decided to try again in the morning.

The next day, I surveyed the damage. I found a lone beagle ear, but not the rest of Joe Cool's head. Though I don't keep our office nearly as tidy as I'd like, the area beneath the shelf is really not that cluttered. I checked the whole area, including behind the desk, and nothing.

I even checked all the way across the room, in case the head had been violently thrown there by whatever impact had taken it off in the first place. I also let the dog into the room to take a shot at finding it. She always finds everything that is out of place. Still nothing.

Now, weeks later, despite much effort, we still haven't found it. Remember "Little Girl Lost", that Twilight Zone episode where a girl falls off her bed and vanishes into another dimension? I have a feeling that's where Joe Cool's head has gone, too. Unfortunately, I don't have a physicist friend to call to find Joe Cool's head for me. My wife did the next best thing, though, and bought me a new one.

As for the case of the missing head, we'll file it under "U" for "Unexplained" in...The Film Frontier.

In Search Of . . . Sci Fi Channel

posted by Tygrrius @ 4:18 PM

Wow, seems like forever since I've had time to work on the site. I was in a minor car accident last week that sidelined me from the computer for a bit. Let's just say that a minor accident can result in a major pain in the neck.

On the plus side, I was able to use some of my non-computer time vegging out in front of the TV watching digital cable. The price of digital cable dropped within a dollar or two of our standard cable rate so we finally took the plunge. We also sprung for the HD package while we were at it. It's nice to be using our HD television to its full advantage after owning it for over three years. It is not without coincidence that the classic Star Wars trilogy first hit DVD just over three years ago, I might add.

Anyway, the hookup was so simple for digital cable that parts of it refused to work. We had four service calls in three days. And six different boxes. It does work now, though. They even threw in free DVR for awhile. Yeah, I know it's a trick. Get us hooked on it for free and then take it away until we pay. Still, it's pretty cool. No more missing Star Trek: Remastered by forgetting to tape it in the wee hours of the morning!

The Sci Fi Channel still eludes me, though. For years, my cable company didn't offer it at all. Finally, the Sci Fi Channel arrived (I may have even written a letter, I used to do that kind of thing). It wasn't long, though, before they made it exclusive to the digital cable package.

About five years ago, I moved across town. On this side of town, Sci Fi Channel was still part of standard cable. I was back in! Again, it was short-lived. The cable provider from the other side of town bought this one, and moved Sci Fi over to digital only.

So, finally, I have digital cable and . . . still no Sci Fi Channel. It seems Sci Fi Channel was bumped up to a higher package of digital cable than we have. I am quite certain that were we to upgrade to that package, Sci Fi would move yet again.

Oh well, it is not meant to be. Most of the shows I wanted to watch on Sci Fi Channel I own on DVD these days anyway: Star Trek, Twilight Zone and Buck Rogers. I still wouldn't mind flipping by an occasional episode of The Incredible Hulk or Knight Rider, though. Just for old time's sake.

Speaking of Star Trek, I can hardly believe that I'll be watching Star Trek: The Menagerie in a movie theater in just a couple of days. It'll be great to see Shatner, Nimoy, and Kelley together again on the big screen. Star Trek movies just haven't been the same without that trio. I don't think we can give them enough credit for the greatest series ever.

Will Pine, Quinto, and Urban be able to recapture that magic for a new generation? Let's hope they check out Star Trek: The Menagerie for a look at how the masters did it.

The Wondrous Dimension Of Imagination

posted by Tygrrius @ 8:40 AM

Last year, I had a Twilight Zone mini-marathon to celebrate Halloween night. Since I enjoyed it so much and Halloween is still in the middle of the week, I'm having one again this year. In 2008, Halloween is on a Friday so I'll probably revert to my traditional triple feature of horror movies.

Here are the episodes I've selected for this year's journey into that land of both shadow and substance known as The Twilight Zone.

"Spur of the Moment"
Aired: February 21, 1964
Written by Richard Matheson
Starring: Diana Hyland
Directed by Elliot Silverstein

Young Anne Henderson (Diana Hyland) is terrified when a black-clad woman on horseback pursues her across the countryside screaming her name. Anne does not know who the woman is or why she is after her.

"Soon enough, she will be given the solution to this twofold mystery, but in a manner far beyond her present capacity to understand, a manner enigmatically bizarre in terms of time and space, which is to say an answer from the Twilight Zone."

Though legendary writer Richard Matheson penned over a dozen of the best Twilight Zones, he apparently did not care very much for the execution of this episode. Nevertheless, I chose this one for its dark, almost gothic visual quality.

"Little Girl Lost"
Aired: March 16, 1962
Written by Richard Matheson
Starring: Charles Aidman
Directed by Paul Stewart

Six-year-old Tina vanishes from her house, but her parents still hear her cries.

"Present location? Let's say for the moment, in the Twilight Zone."

Another top-notch episode from Matheson, the chilling "Little Girl Lost" surely inspired parts of 1982's Poltergeist--which Zone fan Steven Spielberg co-wrote.

"The Hitch-Hiker"
Aired: January 22, 1960
Written by Rod Serling and Lucille Fletcher
Starring: Inger Stevens
Directed by Alvin Ganzer

While driving alone cross-country, Nan Adams (Inger Stevens) keeps encountering the same, strange hitchhiker on the side of the road beckoning to her.

"Nan Adams' companion on a trip to California will be terror. Her route: fear. Her destination: quite unknown."

(I bet you thought Serling would say, "Her destination: the Twilight Zone.") Masterfully directed, this is a frightening take on the hitchhiker urban legend.

"Elegy"
Aired: February 19, 1960
Written by Charles Beaumont
Starring: Cecil Kellaway
Directed by Douglas Heyes

"The time is the day after tomorrow. The place, a far corner of the universe."

Nearly out of fuel, three lost astronauts land on an asteroid that is amazingly Earth-like--except that all of the people are frozen in place.

Though they are dated in terms of accuracy, I always enjoy Twilight Zone's space exploration stories. This is one I haven't watched as often as, say, "I Shot Arrow Into The Air" or "And When The Sky Was Opened," so I'm looking forward to seeing it again.

"The Masks"
Aired: March 20, 1964
Written by Rod Serling
Starring: Robert Keith
Directed by Ida Lupino

Knowing that he is near death, a rich old man summons his greedy family members to his home on the night of Mardis Gras. He forces them to wear specially made masks indicative of their inner selves until midnight or be disinherited.

"This is New Orleans, Mardis Gras time. It is also the Twilight Zone."

Many people feel uneasy about wearing masks and perhaps this episode, one of the best, explains why.

Whether you're in Haddonfield, IL, Springwood, OH, Camp Crystal Lake, NJ, or somewhere in the Twilight Zone, try to have a safe and happy Halloween.

(Source for episode info and quotes: The Twilight Zone Companion: Second Edition by Marc Scott Zicree, 1989.)

Lunchtime On Memory Lane

posted by Tygrrius @ 1:56 PM

The official Star Wars site recently ran a great article about the first Star Wars lunchbox, which hit store shelves 30 years ago. The metal lunchbox from Thermos was actually one of the first available pieces of Star Wars merchandise.

In 1977, I was still three years away from entering school, so I never owned the Star Wars lunchbox featured in the piece. Still, it brought back memories of those early school days. You see, I used to love "Back to School" shopping and one of the main reasons was selecting a new, metal lunchbox each year.

My very first lunchbox, for kindergarten, was Peanuts. This was 1980, though the design itself dates back to the 1960's. Here's the best picture I could find of one online. As far as I've been able to tell, the 1960's version had a predominantly yellow background on both sides of the box. A 1970's version had a predominantly red background on both sides of the box. If I recall correctly, mine had red on one side of the box and yellow on the other. The cartoons were the same, though, on all three variations.

I can actually remember my first lunch in kindergarten. I was all ready with my Snoopy lunchbox and thermos. I had already practiced eating out of it once at home. But the freshly prepared home lunch being placed into the lunchbox and then eaten immediately wasn't a true test, as I was about to find out.

I remember being quite disappointed on that first real lunch. My ham and cheese sandwich tasted funny (I had never eaten one at room temperature before). And my cherry Kool-Aid in my thermos was...ick...warm. As awesome as those lunchboxes were, the thermoses never seemed to be very good at keeping things cool.

I unfortunately don't remember all of my lunchboxes in order, but I'm pretty sure the next one was Popeye. I think it was for 1st grade, though it may have been for the second semester of kindergarten. Much like reading cereal boxes in the morning, these colorful lunchboxes provided much entertainment at lunchtime.

In 2nd grade, my lunchbox was The Muppet Show. I was catching this classic show in reruns and loved it. I had grown up watching Sesame Street, so The Muppet Show was a natural fit. Plus, I always hoped that I would see that episode with Luke Skywalker, Artoo, and Threepio again. (Incidentally, season 2 of The Muppet Show was recently released on DVD. The Star Wars episode was season 4.)

I've mentioned before that I loved video games, especially Pac-Man. Somewhere along the line, I had a Pac-Man lunchbox. If I had to guess, I would say 3rd grade. I even had a Pac-Man board game, which involved a lot of marbles but didn't waste as many quarters. Though it may sound like an anachronism, the Pac-Man board game was actually a lot of fun.

Remember Heathcliff? That other orange cat. I even had a Heathcliff lunchbox at some point. This was probably when I was watching the afternoon version of his cartoon. "Heathcliff just won't be outdone, playing pranks on everyone."

Incidentally, though a fan, I'm not a lunchbox collector or expert. For more information be sure to check out Lunch Box Pad, which appears to be the definitive online resource on the subject.

You may notice, that's five lunchboxes so far and no sign of Star Wars, Superman, or Star Trek. Those lunchboxes were elusive when I was a kid! I never found a Star Wars lunchbox until 3rd or 4th grade, a plastic one for Return of the Jedi.

Plastic really was the ruination of lunchboxes. By 4th grade, all of the metal ones were gone and replaced by their inferior, plastic counterparts. I can remember one more lunchbox before I started brown-bagging it, and it was plastic, too, for Masters of the Universe.

But a sticker slapped on the side of an otherwise generic plastic box just wasn't the same as the intricately detailed lunchboxes of the past. Another American art form was gone, and school lunches would never be the same.

My Kind Of Town

posted by Tygrrius @ 6:02 AM

Of all places to run into Artoo Detoo, I never thought it'd be Chicago's Navy Pier. My wife and I were in the Chicago area last week on vacation and, sure enough, the little astromech droid was there, too. It looks like he's seen a lot of action.


We visited Navy Pier with her parents on an ideal day. The temperature stayed in the low 70's with no humidity. There were beautiful blue skies and white clouds. The pier is a definite must-see, and not just for Artoo. From there we took a thirty-minute skyline boat tour on Lake Michigan, which was an incredible way to view the city.


From the tour boat, I snapped some pictures of the back side of Navy Pier with the city as a backdrop (above), and of the Sears Tower (below).


Later that day, we visited the Sears Tower Skydeck. Since it was such a clear day, there was about a one-hour wait to get up there. The line setup was mass chaos, but it's worth the annoyance to see the spectacular views from the skydeck.


Between Navy Pier and the Sears Tower, I took over two hundred pictures in total that day. I think my finger must've gotten stuck on the button. There was just so much that I wanted to capture. It was a perfect day, one I will never forget.


I've only spent about eight days of my life so far in the Chicago area, so I'm certainly not an expert. My wife and her family are originally from there, though, and they tell me there are certain things I always must do when visiting. All of them seem to involve eating. Yes, they know me well.


You have to eat at Portillo's. They have delicious Italian beef, Italian sausage, and Chicago hot dogs. Fortunately for us, some of their stuff can actually be imported to where we live. One thing that doesn't ship here, though, is what I always seem to order when I'm there: the Combo Beef & Char-Grilled Sausage sandwich. I guess they don't allow that one out of Chicagoland.

And if that's not enough, be sure to get a big scoop of ice cream at Oberweis. When my in-laws told me this place had the absolute best ice cream, I have to admit I was a bit skeptical. Sure, they were right about the whole Portillo's having the best beef and sausage thing. But I really love ice cream.

So, I went with her dad and grandfather to Oberweis and, sure enough, I had the finest scoop of chocolate peanut butter ice cream. That was a fun day, too, probably my favorite of the trip. Her grandfather taught me how to play poker and proceeded to beat both me and her dad pretty handily at it. Fortunately for us, we were only playing for pennies.

Still hungry after ice cream, then why not wrap up your stay with a big slice of sausage pizza from Home Run Inn? The whole "Chicago has the best" theme continued there. And yes, Home Run Inn does indeed have the best restaurant pizza. Ever.

After all that eating, I was a little worried I wouldn't fit back on the sardine plane to get home. Of course, it turns out that being stuck in Chicago wouldn't be such a bad thing. At least I'd never go hungry.

Don't Look, He's Not Out There Now

posted by Tygrrius @ 10:25 AM

Most airplane trips are eventually round-trip, so Friday I experienced my second-ever flight. Though I felt less like a sardine, I unfortunately didn't have a window seat this time and couldn't really look out the whole time like I wanted.

The guy beside me who did have the window totally wasted it. As soon as we started to take off, he started looking straight ahead and never looked out again until we touched the ground nearly three hours later. I noticed many other people doing this, too. What a waste!

There wasn't much to see this time anyway, though. It was a lot cloudier, so all you could really see was vast whiteness. We were just behind the back edge of the wing so I had this urge to say to the frightened stranger beside me, "There's a man out there! On the wing of this plane!"

Knowing my oddball sense of humor, my wife had already warned me not to try this particular little prank. She really didn't want to see me on the evening news.

I get to go up again later this month. I can't wait! Maybe this time, the aircraft will go back into time and we'll have to keep dipping below the cloud cover to see if we've made it home.

Random Thoughts From Another Frontier

posted by Tygrrius @ 7:14 AM

I don't have a lot of time this month, so this will be a short entry. Don't expect any kind of theme, either. Brace yourselves for randomness.

I flew for the first time earlier this week. Not Superman-style, but in an airplane. Awesome experience! I looked out the window the whole time for the three-hour flight. The only downside is that I was in a flying sardine can. I was an idiot and brought a book along to read, thinking that I would actually be able to move a muscle in order to flip the pages.

Oh well, it was still incredible to see the United States at 36,000 feet. Flying amongst the clouds was fun. I must admit, I kept hearing the "Love Theme from Superman" in my head as I watched the beautiful clouds. I'm weird like that.

It was interesting to look down and see the shadows on the ground that were in the exact shape of the clouds. You just can't get a feel for that from the ground.

I haven't watched HBO in years, until stuck here at the hotel. Didn't HBO used to show movies? It's Home Box Office, right? It seems all they show now are crappy "original series." I guess that's part of the de-evolution of cable channels. MTV (Music Television) stopped showing music videos. TNN (The Nashville Network) stopped covering country music (but at least eventually changed its name to reflect that).

Though, actually, HBO does happen to be showing a movie at this very moment: Back to the Future, Part III. I loved the first one. They should've stopped there. Still, it's more interesting than the morning news.

JS will be bringing you any stories that catch his eye. Yesterday, he covered that William Shatner will apparently not be in Star Trek XI, while Leonard Nimoy will appear. If the Nimoy appearance turns out to be true, that raises a couple of interesting points.

For one thing, Nimoy has generally been picky about scripts over the years. He turned down directing and appearing in Star Trek Generations, after all, when Rick Berman refused to listen to his script concerns. Veteran TNG television director David Carson eventually took the helm on that film, while the Spock cameo role was slightly rewritten for Scotty (James Doohan). While Generations was an okay movie, we can only imagine what Nimoy would have done if given control.

More recently, Nimoy has also mentioned that he would only be interested in appearing in Star Trek XI if it was more than a cameo. Does this mean he will have a significant, non-cameo role in the film?

If Nimoy and, hopefully, Shatner can get work out of Star Trek XI, that's great. They both deserve it. From an artistic standpoint, though, I think the characters of Kirk and Spock had the best exits possible in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country. While I'm excited to see their early adventures, I think the later years have already been perfectly wrapped up.

How To Survive Nuclear Winter

posted by Tygrrius @ 12:01 AM

June 11, 2007. 2007. It still sounds so far in the future to me. Back in 1987, when I was about 12, I'm pretty sure I imagined we'd all have flying cars by now.

Space travel would be routine. Astronauts would have already visited Mars. Popular family vacation destinations would include an Earth-orbit space station and a moon base.

That is, assuming America and the Soviet Union had managed to avoid World War III. Nuclear war. Nuclear winter. I had no idea what these really were when I first heard the terms as a kid. I just knew they weren't good. And they were the only things that could rob us of the bright future promised by the 21st century, if we could just make it here alive.

It wasn't until high school in the 1990's that I really began to somewhat comprehend the enormous power of nuclear weapons. I took a semester-long 20th Century US History class. I still remember the teacher's description of the United States dropping atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki to end World War II.

"Boom. Big boom. Biggest boom ever," he began. He then went into minute detail of what happened to the people directly killed and those who died from the fallout.

That threat of nuclear war was part of the culture of growing up in the 1980's. In third or fourth grade, I remember a clamor among my friends to watch a controversial TV movie called The Day After. Like most of those friends, I wasn't allowed to watch it. Little did I know that the director of that movie had also been responsible for Star Trek II just a year before.

A year or two later, CBS began airing The New Twilight Zone. We watched that one every week, and nuclear war played a pivotal part in the first episode's second segment.

An updated telling of the classic episode "A Kind of Stopwatch," "A Little Peace and Quiet" dealt with a woman who finds a necklace that can freeze time and affect everyone except her. She lives through an extremely loud life, so she uses this at first mostly to obtain some well-deserved quiet moments.

By the end, though, she begins to abuse this power. And anyone who's seen more than a few Twilight Zones knows that simply isn't allowed. When a couple of anti-nuke activists come to her door, she freezes time ("Shut up") , drags them outside, and lays them on their backs in the grass. She looks out the window, resumes time ("Start talking"), and laughs while they get up and run away in fright.

Later that night, war breaks out between the Soviets and the US. She stops time and walks outside to see a nuclear missile frozen overhead, waiting to unleash destruction as soon as she resumes time. By stopping time, she has finally obtained world peace. Lesson learned, in the Twilight Zone.

Anxiety over nuclear war was also part of the background of a children's novel I enjoyed back then called The Computer That Said "Steal Me." It was years before I had my own computer (courtesy of JS, as a matter of fact--look what you started, buddy), but I was always fascinated with them. In fact, by not having one, I had this misconception that they could do a lot more than they actually could, a la the series Whiz Kids.

Anyway, I remember being somewhat disappointed once I got into the novel to find that the "talking computer" was actually a computerized chess set. I remember one passage of the book describing jet fighter pilots who wore a patch over one eye so that if they were blinded by a nuclear flash, the other eye would still be usable.

The kid who stole the chess set used an elaborate method to pull off his scheme, involving a tape recorder alarm clock. His plan worked, but his guilty conscience caused him to try to secretly return the set. The return operation was poorly planned, though, and he is caught. Another lesson learned.

Of course, the nuclear threat was around long before the 1980's--that just happened to be the decade of my childhood. Even some episodes of the original Twilight Zone from the 1960's were obsessed with it. "Time Enough At Last" and "The Shelter" come to mind immediately, for instance, but there are plenty of others.

Now, the threat of nuclear war with Russia is not what it once was. Today's generations instead have the ongoing threats of terrorism, which can take many forms.

Hopefully, twenty years from now, someone will be writing about those crazy times in the 2000's when everyone was worried about terrorist attacks, a thing of the past. And hopefully, he or she will be doing so from the comfort of a talking, auto-piloted, flying car.

The All-New Challenge Of The Saturday Morning Cartoons

posted by Tygrrius @ 11:52 PM

Saturday mornings were some of the best times to be a kid. No school. No rush. And, most importantly, plenty of time for watching cartoons before starting the rest of the day.

Each Fall, a special about the new Saturday morning shows would air on a weeknight in prime time. Would last season's incarnation of Scooby-Doo be renewed? What arcade games would become cartoons this year? Would the Wonder Twins finally be replaced? These were the kinds of questions we worried about back then.

Though I enjoyed many Saturday morning shows, certain ones stand out amongst the others when I think back on those days. I've limited this Top Five list to Saturday morning cartoons that produced new episodes between 1977 and 1986, my main cartoon watching years. Well, okay, yeah, I still watch cartoons. But I watched them even more back then. Really.

#5: Pac-Man
I enjoyed this cartoon series almost as much as the video game itself. Unfortunately, the TV show is not one that really holds up over time. I still tend to visualize Pac-Man in this animated style, though. The game still holds up, at least. It is just as fun and frustrating as ever!

#4: Dungeons & Dragons
I was too young for this role-playing game at the peak of its popularity, but I do remember all of the fuss about it from certain adults at the time. The game was accused of being Satanic, and causing young people to separate from reality. This, of course, made for a great cartoon! I doubt it was very much like the game, but I definitely enjoyed the show.

#3: Smurfs
I seem to remember first becoming aware of the Smurfs through the tiny toys long before running across the cartoon. I know people make fun of it now, but I always loved this show. I even collected trading cards and other items from it, including a "Smurf Ahoy" game. A CGI movie version of Smurfs is apparently in the works.

#2: Jim Henson's Muppet Babies
Yes, the popularity of Muppet Babies led to such travesties as The Flintstone Kids, A Pup Named Scooby-Doo, and Tom & Jerry Kids. But Muppet Babies itself was a great show, most noteworthy for its hilarious parodies of various movies, usually those of George Lucas and Steven Spielberg. My favorite episode, of course, was one in which Kermit, Gonzo, Piggy, and the others make their own home video version of Star Wars.

#1: Super Friends
This one went by many titles over the years, but we always called it Super Friends. Featuring Superman, Batman, Robin, Wonder Woman, and Aqua Man, this was by far my favorite cartoon. Despite its annoying aspects (Zan, Jayna, and Gleek), Super Friends embodied the best traits of the Justice League, the world's superheroes working together for the common good.

Honorable mentions
Other favorites included, in no particular order, Dragon's Lair, The All-New Popeye Hour, Pole Position, The New Adventures of Mighty Mouse, and Ewoks.

Yes, you read that right, I liked Ewoks. Much better than the Droids cartoon, anyway. And I didn't mind the Ewoks in Return of the Jedi, either.

The places where they wore thin on even me were The Ewok Adventure: Caravan of Courage and Ewoks: The Battle for Endor, those really bad, live-action TV movies. And even in those movies, the Ewoks gave the most convincing acting performances.

Though not always a cartoon, I also must mention the ABC Weekend Specials series, hosted by Captain O.G. Readmore. One of my favorite episodes was "Homer and the Wacky Doughnut Machine," in which a boy soups up a doughnut machine at a diner and it won't stop making doughnuts. And a rich lady's diamond bracelet gets lost in one of them, which results in a contest to find it. Well, anyway, it was pretty good at the time. But I do, after all, like Ewoks. And Smurfs.

ABC Weekend Specials also featured Miss Switch the Witch, another favorite. Sure, lots of students may have suspected their teachers were witches, but Miss Switch really was one. Fortunately, she was a good witch--more like Glenda or Samantha Stevens than the Wicked Witch of the West.

Another favorite was "The Seven Wishes of Joanna Peabody" in which a girl from a poor family is granted seven wishes by a genie of sorts who lives inside her television. Of course, wishes never turn out quite like you expect. This was followed by a sequel, "The Seven Wishes of a Rich Kid," which was pretty much the same story except about a boy from a wealthy family. Not sure if that second one actually turned up on ABC Weekend Specials, but I remember seeing it somewhere along the line.

Yet another great ABC Weekend Special was The Mouse and The Motorcycle, the classic Beverly Cleary novel about Ralph S. Mouse. I could do a whole column on Cleary's books.

Okay, so maybe ABC Weekend Specials deservers more than just an honorable mention here. I'm going to bump it up to Grand Champion of Saturday Morning. Sorry, Super Friends.