“Supergirl” Special Extendo Ultra Director's Cut DVD
When I discovered the version of Supergirl being released to DVD was not the full on “Director's Cut” 138 minute version released back in 2000, but rather the 124 minute “International” version, I decided this would not do. I had always wanted to see the 138 minute cut, and damned if eBay wasn't a few clicks away.
Well, you know, 138 minutes of mediocre movie is still... mediocre movie.
I didn't bother watching both versions, or even trying to find an original 1984 North American version for comparison. I probably should have, because I saw little in this film that seemed new or different at all. Yet a good 30 minutes are supposed to be, anyway. It just seemed to take sooo much longer to get to the end....
Plot
In a way, there were seeds of what could have been a pretty good idea here. Pit a Kryptonian against one of the canonical, age old weaknesses... magic. Even back in the Silver Age, when Superman could split planets by flying through them, he was still susceptible to magic. So Supergirl would face a sorceress, amped up by a little MacGuffin called the Omegahedron.
In this little continuity, where Superman kills and exacts petty revenge on people who beat him up in a diner, Argo City is in some pocket of trans-dimensional space and is powered by the aforementioned Omegahedron. After an extended jaunt through Argo City, the same thing happens as it did in the 105 minute version, Kara Zor-El, played by the then fetching Helen Slater, loses the Omegahedron after playing with it. Feeling a bit bad about the fact she's consigned her entire home to a slow death, she goes after it.
She's apparently armed with all the knowledge of Kal-El one could get- his powers, his secret identity, everything. Despite this encyclopedic knowledge of Superman, she's surprised by her own abilities once she enters our world. There's an extended “power sequence” after she emerges from the lake, kind of a “good” version of what Zod and company experience after they arrive on Earth in Superman II. While she's “exploring her powers,” the Omegahedron has fallen into the well manicured palms of Selena, the wannabe sorceress who, thanks to the little spinning orb, leaps from wannbe to “is.”
Supergirl slowly works her way up the final showdown, cutting her teeth first on a drunk trucker Max Headroom and his pal, then moves on to the school bully. She doesn't really have to break a sweat until she meets a runaway tractor. The “shadow monster” is the first real “superhero level” threat, and that's about halfway through the film. Along the way she meets up with Lois Lane's sister, Lucy, and a vacationing Jimmy Olsen. Finally, there's the “hunky gardener” that serves as the love interest/romantic rival between herself and Selena, the evil sorceress.
The penultimate showdown leads to a short detour through the Phantom Zone for our heroine, which is a bit more spacious than Zod and Co. seemed to have experienced. With the help of a drunk Peter O'Toole (who may have been 'method acting' as a way to kill the pain of being in the film), she escapes, beats Selena, retrieves the MacGuffin. Everybody then commences to living happily ever after.
Special Features
This, like the late, lamented “original theatrical releases” for Star Wars, was a special feature. Deftly reading the back of the DVD, I'm told this, the Special Edition from 2000, also includes, on Disc 01, a selection of trailers, making-of featurette, and an audio commentary by director Jeannot Szwarc. Perhaps in this commentary he attempts to say his own name 3 times fast, I'm not sure. Maybe one day I'll listen to it.
Personally, I hope Mike considers this for a RiffTrax. After all, he's got experience with Mr. Szwarc's work...
Again, keep in mind, kids, this is not the recent reissue on the shelf today. Don't buy that and complain this is not what “I told you” was on the disc.
Disc Quality
God, why does everyone have to have these ultra technical details on sound and picture? Trust me, I'm a pixel jockey, born and bred, but Photoshop's my game, not video editing. I'm pretty easy going as far as video picture quality goes. (One develops a high tolerance after seeing the fruits of what the Internet provides over the years.) I do know that HD rocks, and DVD's like this one aren't in HD. So, that being said, I will proclaim the following: picture quality was “good”, and audio quality was “good.”
By which I mean to say I could easily see the picture and hear the words. These high standards will generally receive a top notch technical rating from me. The picture neither sucked, nor did it cause slight drooling like my initial contacts with HD did, so it's probably going to be “okay” for the vast majority of people out there.
Conclusions
If anyone's been following my posting's here (and if you are, then seek help, immediately), then you'll probably have noticed I'm a big Supergirl fan. I was pretty into this movie when I was kid, and now I merely find it a bit tedious. It's not exactly horrible, but it's not really great either. Unlike the problems I have developed with Superman II, this film is mostly just a tepid disappointment.
I'd love to see something more modern done, with all the CGI goodies available today, and a really great script. I don't think CGI goodies would have saved this script, though perhaps it was written with the then-limits of filmmaking technology in mind. If you're looking for some simple fantasy fare, this flick will hold you for an afternoon.
Film: 5
Picture: 5
Sound: 5
Bonus Features: 5
Overall Experience: Eh...
Recommended: Killing time with heat vision and miniskirt.
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