Transformers – Movie Review - Now With More Than One Word

posted by JediSheltie @ 6:11 PM

Looks like it's official, we can pretty much do anything in film now.

Still a little pricey, but unleashing 30 foot tall robots in all out war in the middle of a large metropolis is no sweat. Make no mistake, that's what this movie is ultimately about, 30 foot tall robots beating the crap out of each other in the most spectacular fashion possible with modern effects. I can also report the script wasn't that bad either, even though, ultimately, that was just icing on the cake.

The plot is rather simple, as you are more than right to expect for a film of this nature. The Autobots (the good robots) and the Decepticons (the bad robots) are out to find the “Allspark”, the Maguffin that will basically allow its owners to take over the world by turning all our technology into pissed off little robots. Unwittingly holding the keys to the Allspark's location is Sam, a fairly basic teen geek type ably played by Shia LaBeouf. Honestly, it was only a year or so ago I figured out that name didn't refer to one of the female characters in whatever film of his I was watching at the time. Seriously, I kept wondering where the hot French chick was.

There's a big cast of humans here, and a long running time keeps them out at front. As one of the “fans” of the original Series 1 toon the film attempts to target, I did find the screen-time devoted to flesh and blood actors to be somewhat excessive at times. Problem is, there aren't enough people like me to recoup the budgetary costs of an all-Optimus fest. So I understand why we're basically watching a movie the general public can relate to as they follow the characters and their interactions with the warring Transformer forces. I can't blame them for this creative choice, and the fact that most of the humans are entertaining enough kept it from being a totally annoying distraction.

The main drawback to everything the film attempts to accomplish by following the human leads is that we don't really get a chance to get to know most of the Autobots. Outside of Bumblebee, Sam's car and eventual bodyguard, and Prime, the rest of the Autobot cast isn't all that well fleshed out. There's an eventual Autobot casualty, but it's hard to really feel anything since the character didn't contribute much to the film.

The Decepticons fare even worse in this regard. Few outside Megatron have lines, and are left to inspire menace by their presence alone. Fortunately the effects make this pretty easy, actually. Apparently you need to have picked up the comic prequels to have gotten a great deal of the “subtext” of the Decepticon side. Starscream is still a schemer, but you hardly get that from just watching the film.

He still blows crap up real good, though.

Still, complaining about a lack of giant robot action in this film is a little disingenuous, because, really, this film has more giant robot action than any film in history, and it's bloody amazing giant robot action at that. The action sequences are roundly eye popping, visceral experiences that really get your thanatos on. This film is a pure popcorn action fest that ultimately befits the source material. It was an action cartoon, not Shakespeare, after all.