Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem

posted by JediSheltie @ 4:47 PM

Hey, guess what I did for Christmas...

To be honest, this is the first time I've ever bothered with a “Christmas Day” release, at least since I've had the luxury to do so. Not that I had any conceptional problem with it. Mostly nothing ever came out Christmas Day I ever wanted to see. So, I had Christmas dinner at the Alamo Drafthouse this year. It was a chicken Parmesan sandwich, and it was quite tasty. I followed it up with a chocolate milkshake chaser and a good time was had by all.

Right, and I watched a movie, too.

Though the advertising campaign hasn't made much of it, AvP-R is a very direct sequel to the first AvP. Other than the seeds of the plot, all the press and interviews leading up to the films release have taken great pains to avoid mentioning the “other” AvP movie. If mention came, it was generally of a diplomatic, “yes, it exists, and our film is different” kind of response.

The Predalien, a hybrid of the Alien and Predator races seen at the end of AvPG-13 picks up right where he left off, causing that big ship and all those nice Predators from the first film to crash near a remote mountain town. Only the hybrid and a few face-huggers survive to do what they do best, fulfill the biological imperative to continue the species.

The distress beacon from the downed vessel is registered back on Predator Prime, where, in spy terms, a “cleaner” is dispatched to fix the mess and remove all the evidence. The cleaner Predator is the only one in the film this time around, getting a bit back to the Predator film roots. While he's en-route, we start meeting the various bits and pieces of the eventual “band of survivors.”

Since the film doesn't do a lot to get us acquainted with them, I'll summarize: the ex-con recently returned to town, the sheriff, the ex-con's troubled younger bother with a crush on, a random blond chick, and a recently returned Army vet played by Reiko Aylesworth. Reiko is the only human I recognized in the cast.

The film subsequently begins leaping back and forth between the Predator's hunting efforts and the ever dwindling human population's encounters with the ever growing Alien population. There is no “enemy of my enemy is my friend” plot at work here. The Predator is not only cleaning up the Alien infestation, he's cleaning up the witnesses too. The sudden explosion of the Alien population is explained towards the end in a agreeably nasty fashion.

Which brings us to the obvious ways AvP-R distinguished itself from the original. Primarily the splatter quotient is significantly higher. Though even that is a bit of a tease as most of it happens at night, in the rain, with the power out. (That's not a joke, btw.) This doesn't lend itself to particularly “vivid” depictions of gore. The Bothers Strause get a lot of mileage out of messing with perceived “taboos.” One of the first face hugger victims is a boy, for instance. Though they slip right back into the standard cliché by having Aylesworth's character protecting her daughter all the way to the end.

One of the main problems is the film departs in a subtle, yet far more significant way from it's original franchises and even the first film. Instead of starting with a single “crew” or “group” whom we follow throughout the film, we are introduced to characters or sets of characters piecemeal. They don't all end up together until over half the movie is finished. There's less time to invest in the characters as a group or individually, as what development we get has to be squeezed in between Predators and Aliens fighting.

Aylesworth's character doesn't turn out to be the Ripley analog the advertising subtly hinted she would be. Her character receives the least of the already limited development time, and only ends up becoming a glorified chauffeur. The male lead, the ex-con, is set up as the hero of the piece, another reversion to cliché that didn't help the film much.

Ultimately, the film does deliver on the Aliens vs. Predator action, interspersed with various reasonably gory deaths of the local townsfolk at the talons of the visitors. I still think there was a little too much jump-cutting, but maybe theres even more being saved up for the inevitable “Unrated” DVD. The quibbles about having some humans to care about are, admittedly, a bit nitpicky when judging a film like this.

The bloody alien on alien action is what you're signing up for, and it delivers.

Rating: B-

Star Trek II: 16-inch USS Enterprise (Art Asylum)

posted by Tygrrius @ 8:24 PM

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
USS Enterprise NCC-1701, refit version
16 inch electronic starship (Art Asylum)


No sooner had I recommended Art Asylum's new Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan version of the USS Enterprise (NCC-1701) as a great Christmas gift for Trekkies than one arrived on my doorstep courtesy of JS. In case you've been wondering where he's been lately, real life has zapped up most of his free time. I certainly know the feeling. In his absence, you'll be stuck with reading reviews mostly from me.

So, direct from my Christmas gift guide, I now hold the Enterprise in my hands. The funniest part is, I doubt JS even read my post before making his selection. I'm pretty sure he chose this on his own, out of pure coincidence. In fact, if anything, the post probably would've scared him off into thinking I already had one on the way (which I didn't).

Two classic designs

In 1964, a man named Matt Jeffries designed a starship for the pilot episode of a new TV series called Star Trek. The show, created by Gene Roddenberry, was to feature Jeffrey Hunter as Captain Christopher Pike. The starship? Her name was the Enterprise.

Matt Jeffries' visionary design was simple yet realistic. Slightly upgraded by the time the series aired two years later (starring William Shatner as Captain James T. Kirk), the Enterprise almost seemed alive--as integral a character as any other.

Star Trek lasted three seasons before cancellation in 1969, but Matt Jeffries' Enterprise endured. Contemplate all of the dreams inspired by his design. Every Star Trek fan has imagined living aboard her. And every Star Trek starship design since then has owed a debt of allegiance to the Jeffries original.

None more so, however, than the "refit" version of the USS Enterprise that made her debut in 1979's Star Trek: The Motion Picture. As a film, the Roddenberry production was disappointing at best. However, its one saving grace, the one contribution for which it will always be remembered, was the debut of the refit Enterprise.

Andrew Probert had the daunting task of updating the Jeffries starship for the big screen. How do you touch, much less improve upon, such a classic design?

Some fans will always see the original Enterprise from the television series as their favorite, and I respect that. For me, though, my heart is always with Probert's refit version seen in the first six movies.

Not only is Probert's design so compelling as to make me forgive Star Trek: The Motion Picture for its many shortcomings, but it also makes me forgive Probert himself for later creating Star Trek's worst starship design, the horrible Enterprise-D as seen on Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Of glue fumes and misaligned warp nacelles

When I was a kid in the 1980's, they didn't make Star Trek toys like the one I have before me now. Star Wars toys were everywhere, but Star Trek toys were few and far between. I remember Kirk, Spock, and McCoy action figures for Star Trek III: The Search for Spock languishing in the mall toy store for what must've been years. I regret that even I never bought them.

There was a rinky-dink metal toy of the Enterprise-A released for 1989's Star Trek V: The Final Frontier. It looked about as convincing as that film's special effects. I don't regret passing that one up.

Back then, the only real way to hold the Enterprise in your hands was to build one yourself. Though Star Trek had nearly no presence at the toy store, it certainly held its own at the hobby store. There were plenty of ERTL/AMT Star Trek model kits to choose from back then.

The first model I ever assembled was a Star Wars Y-wing fighter. It was a snap-together kit. I'm not sure where I picked this up from, but even back then I thought of snap-together kits as "cheating." Cheating or not, it was relatively easy to assemble. I didn't exactly pay a lot of attention to detail. I was probably 8 or 9, if I had to guess. I had one paint color to go with it, yellow, so I used it for highlights.

Thus began one of my more frustrating hobbies, model-building. Or model-assembling, as the case may be. I soon started on "real" models (i.e., ones that required glue). One Christmas, I asked for and received model kits for two US space shuttles in different scales and Return of the Jedi's Imperial Shuttle.

I had access to more paint colors by then, so I was ready! And soon the frustration began. I started with my smaller space shuttle kit, as the Imperial Shuttle and the larger space shuttle were quite daunting in size.

I carefully painted what pieces I could prior to assembly and put most of it together with relative ease. I then masked off the windows and engines and gave it a good coat of white spray paint. Things were going well until it came time to paint the black, heat-shield area of the shuttle's nose cone. There were no guidelines or marks on the model. I had wrongly hoped that they would be decals.

I never did figure it out. The model sat around on my makeshift table for awhile with the windows and engines taped up. I had a thought of buying a "paint marker" to draw the tiles in but that never came about either. It eventually wound up incomplete in the attic.

So did the Imperial Shuttle, which I made even less progress on. One of the first tasks on that one was to paint the little pilots. Despite the size of the model, the pilots were still very small. Someone suggested I use a toothpick as a brush. That didn't work. For some reason, it didn't occur to me to just leave them out of the model. Instead, I never made it past that step.

As for the larger space shuttle model, it also didn't have markings for the heat shields on the nose so that one never made it very far out of the box. I gave up on models after that.

A few years later, I met JS in high school. Trekkies that we are, we became fast friends. The first time I visited his house, I remember being amazed. For one thing, he pretty much lived at Starfleet Spacedock. He had at least a dozen models of the refit starship Enterprise. All of them were slightly different in techniques applied and you could see how he had improved his skills with each successive model - a lesson that I should have picked up. Starships weren't the only models he assembled, either. He also had jet fighters and even another USS Enterprise - the real-life Navy carrier.

This inspired me to try models again. I had some success putting together the television version of the Enterprise, so I was soon ready to tackle the movie version. I remember when telling JS my plans, he almost seemed like he wanted to warn me off. He also mumbled something about the warp nacelles.

After painstakingly researching the colors of the ship by pausing Star Trek II on VHS, I finally began to assemble the Star Trek VI Enterprise ("with working lights and sound!"). This would've been about 1992. It was great fun. Though it didn't compare to the work of JS, it was the best job I ever did on a model by far. I didn't have much left to do. Among the tasks left was attaching the warp nacelles.

Did I say fun? Fun died a quick death as I started working with the warp engines. Every time I applied them to the rest of the ship, they would either be out of alignment, loose, or both.

Every time.

I asked JS for advice. He laughed and said something that sounded strangely like, "I told you so."

Eventually, after many frustrating hours, I managed to get them on relatively straight. Well, to be honest, they were still crooked. However, they were both crooked at the same angle so I figured that had to count for something. Besides, my Enterprise didn't really have to go to warp speed and risk instant destruction. She would be safe in normal space, on my shelf.

As for the working lights and sound, the lights were too large to look authentic, and the sounds were sampled from the television series for some reason. Still, I was pretty happy with my Enterprise-A. You'd think I would've then moved on to the other Star Trek models I had accumulated the previous Christmas: a Star Trek VI Klingon battle cruiser, a TV series bridge, and a three-ship set of Klingon, Romulan, and Enterprise vessels in a small scale. Alas, it wasn't meant to be. I assembled one race car on a whim and never got around to the other model kits.

More incomplete models

Three or four years ago, it was the Enterprise-A once again that inspired me to start buying models again. I bought the Polar Lights Enterprise-A, a snap-together TV series Enterprise for practice, and all sorts of supplies.

Old habits die hard. When I faced trouble trying to paint the snap-together Enterprise (no matter what I did, it just gunked on), I gave up. Since then, my hobby table has been taken over by my record player and records. Maybe in 2008, I'll try again. That Polar Lights kit still beckons to me, though painting the "Aztec" pattern is another daunting challenge since the hull of that ship is completely smooth in the kit.

Around this time, I also bought the Enterprise-A toy from Art Asylum (yeah, I'm getting to the review of the Star Trek II Enterprise, give me some more time). I pre-ordered it from an online dealer and waited with much anticipation for it to arrive.

Finally, the big day came. The Enterprise-A was here!

I tore open the box and found . . . two classic series hand phasers.

No Enterprise-A.

This online dealer of science fiction and fantasy items, who I am tempted to name but will not, had horrible customer service when I gave them the opportunity to correct their error. So horrible was my experience, in fact, that I decided it was easier to keep the phasers and just order the Enterprise-A from Toys R Us, which worked out much better.

I must admit, my initial reaction to the Enterprise-A toy, after all of that, was disappointment. Something about it just didn't look right. It didn't really have the high level of painted detail that had been apparent in preview photos.

Still, it looked tons better than my old model (which had since self-destructed), though perhaps not those of JS. I put it up on the shelf and there it sat. Mostly forgotten.

This brings me, finally, to my review of the latest starship offering from Art Asylum. In the movies, the Enterprise and the Enterprise-A essentially looked the same on the outside. With only minor modifications, the same filming models were used for both. The toys, however, look quite different from one another.

The review

Art Asylum's Star Trek II USS Enterprise is a distinct improvement over their Enterprise-A. Though the underlying molding appears to be the same, the painted details are much closer to pictures I've seen of the filming model. Don't expect perfection, as this is a toy and not a replica. I'm certainly not going to build one that looks any better, even though I still want to take a crack at that Polar Lights kit some day.

The starship comes well secured in its packaging. This has the benefit of keeping it safe and sound during shipping, though it is frustrating when you are trying to unwrap all of the wires as quickly as possible to get your starship out. Scissors work well.

That's right, all you collectors out there, I took my Enterprise out of the packaging. I don't live in a museum. It's not like I'm going to try to sell this later, anyway. Besides, by opening the package of my Enterprise, I've just made yours more valuable.

The Enterprise comes in three pieces. The two warp engines snap easily onto the struts. No worries about alignment or loose fitting parts.

The surface details are mostly impressive. As with the Enterpise-A, you can see some of the joints. Keeping in mind what it is, though, this doesn't really bother me. The improved paint job makes up for it. Though I've generally been against the painting of "gridlines" on the primary hull of the models, the ones here do seem to give the toy more texture compared to the Enterprise-A version.

I've included several quick pictures here that I took of the Enterprise. For comparison, I also threw the Enterprise-A in one of them.

The Enterprise comes with two options to cover the bottom of the engineering hull. It comes out of the box with the fully-sealed version already attached. You can unscrew this and replace it with the alternate piece, which allows the base to attach. The battery compartment is also located here, as is the switch to take the ship out of demo mode. If you don't do this, the only sound effect you'll hear is "KHAN! KHAN!"

To activate the sound and lighting effects, press the bridge dome. There are eighteen sound variations in all:

· Kirk: "I don't like to lose."
· Red alert klaxon
· Khan: "Let them eat static."
· Impulse engines
· Khan: "Fire!"
· Hand phaser blast
· Khan: "Time's up, Admiral."
· Kirk: "Mister Sulu, lock phasers on target and await my command."
· Starship phaser blasts
· Khan: "Time is a luxury you don't have."
· Explosion
· Kirk: "Kirk to Spock."
· Transporter beam
· Kirk: "I don't believe in the no-win scenario."
· Kirk: "KHAN! KHAN!"
· Kirk: "Fire!" (Phaser blasts)
· Khan: "From Hell's heart I stab at thee."
· Warp pass-by

Pressing and holding the bridge for five seconds will cycle through all of the above sounds. The navigational deflector, impulse engines, and warp engines light up each time in synch with the sound effect. This makes for a rather odd experience as they flash on and off. In one of the few areas where detail was missed, the lights make parts of the ship nearly transparent.

The sound effects quickly get old and, unfortunately, it does not have a mode that simply runs the lights continuously. The sound effects and light show are probably what makes this most feel like a toy. It's easy enough to leave the batteries out, though.

One issue I had with the Enterprise-A was attempting to attach it to the base, which used a ball-and-socket joint. Sad to say, this Enterprise includes the exact same base. Almost as frustrating as aligning those warp nacelles so many years ago, I've just never figured out the "right" way to attach it. This time, I tried attaching the base's ball into the socket of the engineering section prior to attaching it to the rest of the ship. This worked somewhat better, but the thing still doesn't seem but so secure on it. It's a shame that Art Asylum hasn't determined a better solution for such a nice starship.

Still, this Enterprise is impressive work and a vast improvement over 2003's Enterprise-A. JS, you shocked me with this one. Thank you!

Overall: 9 (out of 10)